If anyone were to ask my advice about how to make a marriage work, I wouldn't dare tell the whole truth, that for our 20th wedding anniversary, Tasha and I bought a set of twin mattresses. Yep--separate beds. Truth be told, Tasha can't stand sleeping with me. She says she's had twenty years too many of my twitching wildly, pulling the covers off her, hogging too much space and tossing and turning all night long. Plenty of nights I lie awake, fearful that I may roll over and wake her, to which she might respond with a right jab to my solar plexus or a brisk smack to the head. So, I agreed that separate beds might not be such a bad idea.
If anyone asked my advice, I'd probably tell them to throw the 50/50 relationship theory out the window. Decisions are made on a 100/100 basis. If Tasha or I don't completely agree about a decision, we don't move forward until we do. I'd never suggest that anyone attempt to make a cross-cultural marriage like ours work. Ours works not out of love or romance or any such poetic pipe dream, but out of patience and respect for our differences. Tasha and I have always agreed how we would raise our kids, with hope and understanding that our cultural differences promise to influence them to be good citizens of the world. Still, nothing has prevented them from making many of the same bad decisions I made as a teenager. Evidently, our first two have been cursed with my dominant knucklehead gene traits.
Twas a nice visit to Mom and Dad's place in Granville today. Lana and Samantha were there with all of us. Mom made a nice big salad and some fruit punch. Tasha cooked duck and Lana brought lasagna. Mom made seafood lasagna which was excellent even though she thought it came out a little bit soupy. Lots of cookies and genuine Turkish baklava made by our friend Ann made for plenty to eat. Dad showed us his new project, a pin hole camera that he built from a few small pieces of plywood. If it doesn't take good pictures, he says it could easily be converted to a box trap.
After lunch, we all went to the movies in State College. Tasha, Mom, Dad and I watched "Doubt" starring Merle Streep and Phillip Seymore Hoffman. This film was a rare value for the price of admission which left us with plenty to think about afterwards. I am still contemplating the line "Doubt is a bond as sustaining as certainty".
Merry Christmas to all and Thank you for 20 glorious years Natasha!
and here's an interesting feel good story from Hollywood to help us remember 2008:
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